


error: message could not be sent

by vercna



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/M, Marauders' Era, Social Media, also in which i dont care enough about snape to give him a real role, in which james and sirius cant agree on which friends character they are, jilytober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 04:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12246936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vercna/pseuds/vercna
Summary: there's a new girl at schoolthe groupchat's a messand James and Sirius both think they're the Joey of the group





	error: message could not be sent

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting anything so i figured i might as well wait for jilytober!
> 
> this is inspired by some real texts from my groupchat lmao b prepared for some nonsense

**James Potter** to **The Marauders** : guys omfg u have 2 come see this

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **The Marauders** : see what exactly?

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **The Marauders** : ???

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **The Marauders** : where r u

 

 **James Potter** to **The Marauders** : outside the science lab

 

 **James Potter** to **The Marauders** : sirius tried to prank mcgonagall by asking her out to the autumn dance

 

 **James Potter** to **The Marauders** : except she said yes

 

 **James Potter** to **The Marauders** : i think hes having a stroke

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **The Marauders** : omw

 

-

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**: guys

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**:

boys

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**:

i

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**:

will

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**:

spam

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**:

until

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**:

one

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**:

of

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**: ohmygod sirius what do u want im in lit class

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**: do u think mcgonagall would take it personally if i invited some other girl to the dance??? rhetorical question obvi

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**: ur a dog

 

 **James Potter** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**: whos the girl?

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**: some redhead from herefordshire

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**: shes new and in our history class

 

 **mcgonagall’s boyfriend sirius black** to **The Marauders & mcgonagall’s bf sirius black**: shes FIT

 

 **James Potter** changed the group name to **u dont deserve minnie padfoot**

 

-

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : babe

 

 **James Potter** to **Sirius Black** : yes darling?

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : that new redhead,,,,, youd love her

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : she just presented herself to the class

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : quote “i like the prequel trilogy of star wars better than the original” unquote

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : naturally i have 2 give up on her cuz i could never go past that but at least u both have shitty taste in films

 

 **James Potter** to **Sirius Black** : EWAN MCGREGORS PORTRAYAL OF OBI WAN WAS OSCAR WORTHY AND U KNOW IT

  


 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **mcgonagall & dumbledore r most definitely doing It so its cool if i look at other people**: any1 got the link to that youtube vid we have 2 watch for Binns?

 

 **James Potter** to **mcgonagall & dumbledore r most definitely doing It so its cool if i look at other people** : [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU54c3YDyak ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU54c3YDyak)

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **mcgonagall & dumbledore r most definitely doing It so its cool if i look at other people**: i hate u

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **mcgonagall & dumbledore r most definitely doing It so its cool if i look at other people: ** here u go pete [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIgFqOgADtQ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIgFqOgADtQ)

 

 **Remus Lupin** changed the group name to **sirius dumbledore is gay**

 

-

 

 **mcgonagall’s ex boyfriend sirius blac** k to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : i have intel on the pretty redhead

 

 **mcgonagall’s ex boyfriend sirius blac** k to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : name’s lily evans

 

 **mcgonagall’s ex boyfriend sirius blac** k to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : shes got 1 sister who goes to college here

 

 **mcgonagall’s ex boyfriend sirius black** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : cant find her fb profile tho

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : its Lily Mary Ev

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : she said theres this creep back home who would stalk her so she’s not using her real name on the internet

 

 **mcgonagall’s ex boyfriend sirius black** changed **Remus Lupin’** s name to **remus the only friend we can count on**

 

 **James Potter** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : GUYS OMFG

 

 **James Potter** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : IM IN BINNS CLASS

 

 **James Potter** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : AND I DECIDED TO STALK HER PROFILE

 

 **James Potter** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : AND THEN I HEARD HER SAY “are u stalking me” SHES SITTING RIGHT BEHIDN ME GFNFNFNNN

 

 **remus the only friend we can count on** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : no offense prongs but ur so fucking stupid sometimes

 

 **James Potter** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : IDKKK WHT 2 DO

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : i can confirm this im sitting on the other end of the class n james just refuses to turn around and face her

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : i dnt think hes breathing

 

 **mcgonagall’s ex boyfriend sirius black** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : wait hold on remus how do u have her fb profile,????? whats the 411 lil mama??? explain urself

 

 **mcgonagall’s ex boyfriend sirius black** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : also james be strong im omw

 

 **remus the only friend we can count on** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : we have PE together and we’re on the same volley team so we kinda hang out, shes real nice

 

 **James Potter** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : SIRIUS WHT DO U MEAN UR ON UR WAY????

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : oh no

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** sent a video to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse**

 

 **remus the only friend we can count on** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : r my eyes deceiving me or is that sirius…,,,, kissing james on the mouth???? tf

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **dumbledore’s sexuality is now forbidden from the group’s Discourse** : annnnnnnnd they got detention

 

-

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** accepted your friend request.

 

-

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : hey just wanna say sorry for being so weird in class 2day my friend sirius does drugs but

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : im perfectly normal

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : also sorry you’re stuck in detention because of him (not me)

 

**seen 1.43pm**

  


-

 

 **not a really great kisser james potter** to **marauders (sirius dont change it)** : i want 2 die

 

 **not a really great kisser james potter** to **marauders (sirius dont change it** ): she left me on read jesus fuckk k

 

-

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **Remus Lupin** : hey remus! missed u in PE today, are u sick again? anyway can u tell ur friend james i’m really sorry i didn’t answer his message i seem to have a few issues with my fb profile thx xx

 

-

 

 **not a really great kisser james potter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : i had detention with evans today

 

 **a très bon kisser sirius black** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : wht??? how come i wasn in the same room??

 

 **that 1 time at a party he put way too much tongue peter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : do we have homework for tomorrow?

 

 **not a really great kisser james potter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : cuz last time we had detention together sirius you made me chew gum u found underneath ur chair n i had to go to the infirmary

 

 **a très bon kisser sirius black** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : um you say that like u didnt enjoy the cherry & hair flavour

 

 **that 1 time at a party he put way too much tongue peter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : whats the hw for tomorw?

 

 **remus lupin whomst i havent kissed yet but looks like a 9/10** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : how did it go james?

 

 **not a really great kisser james potter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : she called me a “hot piece of ass” and then insulted for the remaining 45 minutes for getting her in detention

 

 **not a really great kisser james potter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : so i decided theres no other girl for me on this planet but Her™

 

 **that 1 time at a party he put way too much tongue peter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : yo whats the hw for tomorrow?

 

 **not a really great kisser james potter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : i think i might ask her to the dance……..

 

 **remus lupin whomst i havent kissed yet but looks like a 7/10** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : cheers mate

 

 **a très bon kisser sirius black** sent a gif to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??**

 

 **that 1 time at a party he put way too much tongue peter** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : guys whats the fuckin homeowork!!!

 

 **remus lupin whomst i havent kissed yet but looks like a 7/10** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : is that an indiana jones gif and also why

 

 **a très bon kisser sirius black** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : it’s indiana jones with a whip

 

 **a très bon kisser sirius black** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : get it

 

 **a très bon kisser sirius black** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : cause hes whipped

 

 **a très bon kisser sirius black** to **who hasnt had gay thoughts??** : get it????

 

 **that 1 time at a party he put way too much tongue peter** changed the group name to **whats the homework u dicks**

  


-

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : hey potter

 

 **James Potter** sent a gif to **Lily Mary Ev**

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : why is steve buscemi putting lipstick on

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : didnt mean to send that

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : good question tho

 

-

 

 **remus lupin whomst i havent kissed yet but looks like a 7/10** changed **a très bon kisser sirius black** ’s name to **padfoot**

 

 **remus lupin whomst i havent kissed yet but looks like a 7/10** changed **that 1 time at a party he put way too much tongue peter** ’s name to **wormtail**

 

 **remus lupin whomst i havent kissed yet but looks like a 7/10** changed **not a really great kisser james potter** ’s name to **prongs**

 

 **remus lupin whomst i havent kissed yet but looks like a 7/10** changed their name to **moony**

 

 **moony** changed the group name to **sick n tired of u wankers dumb nicknames**

 

 **padfoot** to **sick n tired of u wankers dumb nicknames** : now thats just offensive

 

 **wormtail** to **sick n tired of u wankers dumb nicknames** : isnt it sad that we’ve been using those nicknames for so long i mean it was just a ‘whats ur spirit animal’ test on fb

 

 **padfoot** to **sick n tired of u wankers dumb nicknames** : u r just mad bc u got a rat u rat

 

 **moony** changed the group name to **The Marauders** **_™_ **

 

-

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : this presentation sucks

 

 **James Potter** to **Sirius Black** : sirius we’re presenting together

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potte** r: hows that relevant

 

-

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : you coming to the dance this weekend?

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : yeah

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : wanna go with me?

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : u cant call a man a hot piece of ass and expect him to forget

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : id be glad to but… just as friends ok?

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : um yeah sure thats totally what i meant too haha

 

-

  


**padfoot** to **james and lily sitting on a tree.. not doing anything cause theyre just friends** : if someone sent me “haha” i would die and then curse them from below

 

 **moony** to **james and lily sitting on a tree.. not doing anything cause theyre just friends** : below?

 

 **padfoot** to **james and lily sitting on a tree.. not doing anything cause theyre just friends** : well yeah im going to hell for sure

 

-

 

 **padfoot** to **dont cha by the pussycat dolls is going on the group playlist** : marlene mckinnon invited me over for pre drinks before the dance

 

 **padfoot** to **dont cha by the pussycat dolls is going on the group playlist** : clearly an invitation for intercourse

 

 **moony** to **dont cha by the pussycat dolls is going on the group playlist** : she invited me too

 

 **wormtail** to **dont cha by the pussycat dolls is going on the group playlist** : same

 

 **prongs** to **dont cha by the pussycat dolls is going on the group playlist** : me2

 

 **padfoot** to **dont cha by the pussycat dolls is going on the group playlist** : alrite alrite lads theres plenty of me 2 go around dont fight

 

**moony left the group chat**

 

**prongs left the group chat**

 

**wormtail left the group chat**

 

 **padfoot** to **dont cha by the pussycat dolls is going on the group playlist** : GUYS

 

-

 

 **Marlene MCK** invited you to her event **PRES AT MY PLACE BRING BOOZE DONT BE CHEAP**

 

 **accept |** decline

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** posted on the **page** : marlene whats ur adress?

 

-

 **moony** sent a link to **sirius has shit music taste**

 

 **moony** to **sirius has shit music taste** : its a buzzfeed quizz to see which friends character u are so we can settle this once and for ALL

 

 **moony** to **sirius has shit music taste** : im monica

 

 **padfoot** to **sirius has shit music taste** : i dont need a buzzfeed quizz to know im joey (with a hint of phoebe)

 

 **prongs** to **sirius has shit music taste** : no IM joey

 

 **padfoot** to **sirius has shit music taste** : u cant even look at evans without stumbling thats not a joey move

 

 **wormtail** changed the group name to **so no one told u life was gonna be this way CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP**

 

 **wormtail** to **so no one told u life was gonna be this way CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP** : i think james would make a good joey

 

 **padfoot** to **so no one told u life was gonna be this way CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP** : shut up rachel

 

-

 

 **prongs** to **the moon landing was NOT fake sirius** : what time will u guys get to marlene’s???? theres a weird ass dude here…

 

 **padfoot** to **the moon landing was NOT fake sirius** : elaborate

 

 **prongs** to **the moon landing was NOT fake sirius** : slimy hair slimy face????especially the nose????

 

 **padfoot** to **the moon landing was NOT fake sirius** : love it love the thought out details u put in this message

 

 **moony** to **the moon landing was NOT fake sirius** : we here

 

-

 

 **Sirius Black** to **Remus Lupin** : wtf was that

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **Sirius Black** : i think maybe MAYBE it was james punching this snivel guy in the face??? could b wrong i mean james punching him in the face kinda blurs things

 

 **Sirius Black** to **Remus Lupin** : idk what turns me on most, james punching a guy or you using sarcasm against me

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **Sirius Black** : pls stop

 

-

 **Lily Mary Ev** posted on the page **PRES AT MY PLACE BRING BOOZE DONT BE CHEAP** : srry for any inconvenience tonite.. especially for you @Marlene MCK

 

 **6 likes | 2 comments**.

 

 **Dorcas MD** : are you okay @Lily Mary Ev??

 **Marlene MCK** : dw abt it babe

 

-

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : hey, listen i kno you said youd be fine but just decided not 2 come to the dance which i totally get i just wanna say sorry if i made things worse between you and that guy…. idk whats the deal there but i just.. dont like it when greasy assholes insult my friends

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : to be fair he deserved it and he did need a nose job

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : i was gonna volunteer but you beat me to it, its all good

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : wow thats my kind of woman

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : thx im my kind of woman too

 

-

 

 **padfoot** to **mcgonagall stood sirius up** : ladz

 

 **padfoot** to **mcgonagall stood sirius up** : did i throw up in garbage can last night?? my hair smells like trash

 

 **wormtail** to **mcgonagall stood sirius up** : no

 

 **padfoot** to **mcgonagall stood sirius up** : thank god

 

 **wormtail** to **mcgonagall stood sirius up** : u just put ur head in there 4 fun

 

 **wormtail** sent a photo to **mcgonagall stood sirius up**

 

 **padfoot** to **mcgonagall stood sirius up** : I Refute This In The Name Of The Lord

 

-

 

 **James Potter** to **Marlene MCK** : hey marly my love my beautiful angel my lifelong neighbour and childhood friend whom i love and appreciate

 

 **Marlene MCK** to **James Potter** : tf u want

 

 **James Potter** to **Marlene MCK** : has lily evans talked abt me???

 

 **Marlene MCK** to **James Potter** : y do u like her

 

 **Marlene MCK** to **James Potter** : ??

 

 **James Potter** to **Marlene MCK** : ://///

 

 **James Potter** to **Marlene MCK** : maybe

 

 **Marlene MCK** to **James Potter** : shes 2 good 4 u

 

 **James Potter** to **Marlene MCK** : well THANKS marly u know what you no longer have access to jackie

 

 **Marlene MCK** to **James Potter** : james jackie is MY cat

 

 **James Potter** to **Marlene MCK** : not anymore she isnt

 

 **James Potter** sent a picture to **Marlene MCK**

 

 **James Potter** to **Marlene MCK** : she seems to enjoy all those snacks im feeding her

 

 **Marlene MCK** to **James Potter** : alrite alrite ill put a good word in for u

 

-

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : why is marlene mckinnon telling me ur a cat kidnapper?

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : dont u mean kittynapper

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : im blocking u

  


-

 **moony** to **Marauders Is Thy Only Group Name** : did james really walk into a pole or is that just a rumour?

 

 **moony** to **Marauders Is Thy Only Group Name** : im stuck in lit pls answer me i have so many jokes

 

 **padfoot** to **Marauders Is Thy Only Group Name** : yup

 

 **padfoot** to **Marauders Is Thy Only Group Name** : what do u want that boy has horrible eyesight

 

 **moony** to **Marauders Is Thy Only Group Name** : he was staring at lily again wasnt he

 

 **wormtail** to **Marauders Is Thy Only Group Name** : pretty much

 

 **prongs** to **Marauders Is Thy Only Group Name** : IM FINE BTW THANKS FOR ASKING

 

-

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : wanna b my partner for the french class prez?

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : sURE. what theme shall we choose

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potte** r: omelettes

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : eggcellent

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : stop that

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : :(

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : <3

 

**-**

 

 **prongs** changed the group name to **Lily <3 James :))))))))**

 

 **padfoot** to **Lily <3 James :))))))))**: whys that so special i <3 u too

 

 **moony** to **Lily <3 James :))))))))**: i think the difference here is that james is interested in lily ROMANTICALLY just my humble onion tho

 

 **padfoot** to **Lily <3 James :))))))))**: now that really hurts me… @prongs we said if we were still single at 40 wed get married!!!!!!

 

 **prongs** to **Lily <3 James :))))))))**: ..no?

 

 **padfoot** to **Lily <3 James :))))))))**: shit really?

 

 **padfoot** to **Lily <3 James :))))))))**: well fuck me i dont even have a back up plan

 

 **padfoot** to **Lily <3 James :))))))))**: @moony ????

 

-

 **Sirius Black** to **Remus Lupin** : why arent u answering my messages about our hypothetical marriage and our hypothetical 2 kids luke and leia

 

**seen at 2.56pm**

 

-

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter, Peter Pettigrew** : moony was out sick today, movie at his?

 

 **James Potter** to **Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew** : i finish at 3 be there as soon as i can

 

 **Peter Pettigrew** to **James Potter, Sirius Black** : ill bring the chocolate & my legally blonde dvd

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter, Peter Pettigrew** : yeah and bring Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde too……, askin 4 a friend

 

 **James Potter** to **Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew** : WOW talk abt fragile masculinity

 

-

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : hye

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : *ehy

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : oh jesus on a cracker i meant *HEY

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : aha hi

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : wyd

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : not much.. was thinkin maybe u could come round my house tonight? mum’s gone n i dont wanna be alone with my sister

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : ah .. u know i wouldve loved 2 but remus isnt feeling so great so i was just gonna hang w him 2nite

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : real sorry

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : nah thats alright. see u at school x

 

-

 

 **Severus Snape Prince** posted on **Lily Mary Ev’** s wall:

 

LILY EVANS IS A SLUT AND A WHORE WANNA SEE HER NUDES?? CLICK ON MY PROFILE

 

**2 likes | 3 comments**

 

 **Remus Lupin:** wtf

 

 **Marlene MCK:** REPORTED

 

 **James Potter:** im surprised u could type this with all the blood still running out ur nose u fucking wanker

-

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : lils??

 

**error: message could not be sent**

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : hey u ok? :(

 

**error: message could not be sent**

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : im so sorry lily

 

**error: message could not be sent**

 

-

 

 **prongs** to **burger king is better than mcdonalds u fuckin morons i cant believ i had 2 read this with my own 2 eyes in my own home wow WOW** : i think evans deleted her facebook

 

 **moony** to **burger king is better than mcdonalds u fuckin morons i cant believ i had 2 read this with my own 2 eyes in my own home wow WOW** : yea … and she didnt show for PE today either.. reckon it has to do with that snape guy?

 

 **padfoot** to **burger king is better than mcdonalds u fuckin morons i cant believ i had 2 read this with my own 2 eyes in my own home wow WOW** : that has 2 be it… what a git i stalked his profile and hes so gross look at that NOSE wow… imagine carrying a child for 9 months and it ends up lookin like that……. Unfortunate

 

 **wormtail** to **burger king is better than mcdonalds u fuckin morons i cant believ i had 2 read this with my own 2 eyes in my own home wow WOW** : mary mcdonald said hes the stalker from her old high school… apparently she rejected him or smth and he got mad and started acting all weird lik…,,,,,,,,,,, threatening her n shit

 

 **padfoot** to **burger king is better than mcdonalds u fuckin morons i cant believ i had 2 read this with my own 2 eyes in my own home wow WOW:** gross

 

 **prongs** to **burger king is better than mcdonalds u fuckin morons i cant believ i had 2 read this with my own 2 eyes in my own home wow WOW:** gross

 

 **moony** to **burger king is better than mcdonalds u fuckin morons i cant believ i had 2 read this with my own 2 eyes in my own home wow WOW:** gross

 

-

 

 **Mary Micky McDonald** invited you to join the secret group **18th Bday Party**

 

 **accept** | decline

 

-

 

 **padfoot** to **peter wants to fuck pennywise** : just saw evans right outside the science lab!!!

 

 **padfoot** to **peter wants to fuck pennywise** : @prongs

 

 **prongs** to **peter wants to fuck pennywise** : omw

 

-

 

 **wormtail** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : guys omfg

 

 **wormtail** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : james n evans r talking outside the science lab

 

 **wormtail** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : n james LITERALLY tripped over himself when she put her hand on him hfnfng

 

 **wormtail** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : guys???

 

 **wormtail** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : omg he just blurted out “cats are good theyre like… furries! except u know..; theyre not humans who want to have intercourse with animals…….;;”

 

 **wormtail** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : lily is legit like “............................... SURE”

 

 **wormtail** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : guys this is comedic gold where r u!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **moony** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : peter we’ve been standing like 5ft away from them this entire time

 

 **wormtail** to **i never said i wanted 2 fuck it just that it wasnt scary!!!!!!!** : oh

 

-

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **James Potter** : i cannot BELIEVE you compared lily’s sweet cat to a furry

 

 **James Potter** to **Remus Lupin** : I DIDNT!!!!!!!! i compared CATS to furries. huge difference.

 

 **Remus Lupin** to **James Potter** : cats dont deserve this disrespect especially lil jane eyre

 

 **James Potter** to **Remus Lupin** : wait have u met her cat????

 

 **James Potter** to **Remus Lupin** : moony??????

 

 **James Potter** to **Remus Lupin** : remus!!!!!!!!!!!

 

-

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : liked talking to you today

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev:** me too im glad u decided to keep your fb profile, dont let that dick win!!

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter:** yeah well i reported and blocked him.. fingers crossed he gets the hint this time.. but really james thank you for today, even if you did compare my cat to anthropomorphic animal lovers

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : i will never live this down will i

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **James Potter** : nope

 

 **James Potter** to **Lily Mary Ev** : didnt think so

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** changed **James Potter** ’s name to **furry lover**

 

 **furry lover** to **Lily Mary Ev** : NO

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : lmaoooo

 

-

 

 **prongs** to **The Babadook Defense League** : what r u bringin for mary’s party 2nite?

 

 **padfoot** to **The Babadook Defense League** : du vin rouge monsieur oui oui

 

 **padfoot** to **The Babadook Defense League** : stolen from my dad’s cellar

 

 **prongs** to **The Babadook Defense League** : cheers mate, pre drinks at mine? 9?

 

 **padfoot** changed **prongs** ’s name to **James Our Lord And Savior Whom We Love The Mostest**

  


-

 

 **Sirius Black** to **Lily Mary Ev** : im so ssosorry did nt mean 2 bother!

 

 **Sirius Black** to **Lily Mary Ev** : pls refrain jaems from killmin g me .

 

-

 

 **padfoot** to **The Babadook Defense League:** guysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

 **moony** to **The Babadook Defense League** : yessssssssssssssssss?????????????????

 

 **padfoot** to **The Babadook Defense League** : im liKE REALLy realyu rellay really pissed BUT!!! i thinkj i juts walke d in on jame sand lily doingg it in a Closet

 

 **moony** to **The Babadook Defense League** : Come Downstairs!,, peters thowing up n i gotta take care pof him but i want the hot goss!!!!

 

 **padfoot** sent a picture to **The Babadook Defense League**

 

 **moony** to **The Babadook Defense League** : y r u snding us a selfie of u flipping us off u arse

 

-

 

 **moony** to **The Babadook Defense League** : @padfoot did i just hear u ask for dont cha by the pussycat dolls??,?? AGAIN???

 

 **padfoot** changed the group name to **dont cha wish ur girlfriend was Hot Like Me**

  


-

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : had a great time 2nite xoxoxox

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : hope u got home safe

 

-

 

 **James Potter** to **Sirius Black** : im so not happy with u sirius honestly

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : alright mate listen im sorry in my defense i got trashed last night n i thought a closet was a nice place 2 nap u know

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : u seemed pretty happy last night tho amirite

 

 **Sirius Black** to **James Potter** : at least one part of u did

 

 **James Potter** to **Sirius Black** : blockt

 

-

 

 **furry lover** to **Lily Mary Ev** : srry i got home n fell asleep straight away!

 

 **furry lover** to **Lily Mary Ev** : hope u got home safe too

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : thats alright.

 

-

 

 **James Our Lord And Savior Whom We Love The Mostest** to **dont u wish ur girlfriend was Hot Like Me** : evans is kinda cold through texts……….. do u think she regrets it…………….

 

 **moony** to **dont u wish ur girlfriend was Hot Like Me** : what is,, the it in question?

 

 **James Our Lord And Savior Whom We Love The Mostest** to **dont u wish ur girlfriend was Hot Like Me** : just.. stuff idk

 

 **wormtail** to **dont u wish ur girlfriend was Hot Like Me** : stuff like making out or stuff like anal gotta b precise m8

 

 **James Our Lord And Savior Whom We Love The Mostest** to **dont u wish ur girlfriend was Hot Like Me** : WTF pete no just we were talking in mary’s room n then this couple came in tongues deep in each other’s throat so we left and we thought the door to the closet was another room but it wasnt and then… idk she kissed me so .. like making out and a bit more… nothing huge

 

 **padfoot** to **dont u wish ur girlfriend was Hot Like Me** : thats what she said

 

 **James Our Lord And Savior Whom We Love The Mostest** to **dont u wish ur girlfriend was Hot Like Me** : stfu

 

-

 **Sirius Black** invited you to an event **HAUNTED HOUSE SPECIAL MAZE**

 

 **Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Mary Ev, Marlene MCK** and 8+ are going.

 

 **accept** | decline

 

-

  


**padfoot** to **everyone tell peter to wear his special nappies 4 the haunted house** : james why dont u ask evans to be ur date for this week end? are things still cold between u two?

 

 **prongs** to **everyone tell peter to wear his special nappies 4 the haunted house** : kinda… i feel like we took a step back instead of a step forward

 

 **prongs** to **everyone tell peter to wear his special nappies 4 the haunted house** : shes already coming tho

 

 **padfoot** to **everyone tell peter to wear his special nappies 4 the haunted house** : yeah but she could b coming With You Officialy Like On A Date

 

 **padfoot** to **everyone tell peter to wear his special nappies 4 the haunted house** : n then hopefully maybe this wont be the only time she’ll come in 1 day

 

 **prongs** removed **padfoot** from the group

 

 **moony** to **everyone tell peter to wear his special nappies 4 the haunted house** : he had  one (1) good idea n he had 2 go and ruin it

 

-

 **furry lover** to **Lily Mary Ev** : on advice of my terrible drug addict but loveable friend sirius black, im asking you on a date

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : ok?

 

 **furry lover** to **Lily Mary Ev** : this weekend? at the haunted house? it can be a group date idc i swear i wont try anything we can take it slow

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : id love to james

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : im really sorry its just with the whole snape thing i kinda find it hard to trust guys and all but i really like you

 

 **furry lover** to **Lily Mary Ev** : ..i really like you too

 

 **furry lover** to **Lily Mary Ev** : even if you said sirius was the joey of the group when its clearly me; loveable, good with the ladies, amazing hair

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : no ur chandler; cute with glasses, awkward, bad jokes

 

 **furry lover** to **Lily Mary Ev:** go to hell

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** to **furry lover** : are u asking me out on a date?? i accept

 

-

 

 **Sirius Black** posted a photo with **James Potter, Lily Mary Ev, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and 3+ people** @ **HAUNTED HOUSE SPECIAL MAZE**

 

“u cant see peter’s nappy but hes defo wearing one (1)”

 

54 likes | 12 comments.

[see more comments]

 **Peter Pettigrew** : sirius!!!!!!! i fuckin hate u

 **Regulus Black** : didnt u tell mom u were at a church meeting?!

 **Mary Micky McDonald** : is it me or **@James Potter** & **@Lily Mary Ev** look like a couple on here?? ;)

 

-

 

 **Lily Mary Ev** just posted a photo with **James Potter.**

 

 **“** chandler and monica **”**

 

**15 likes | 3 comments.**

 

 **Mary Micky McDonald:** aw cuties!

 

 **Marlene MCK** : @Lily ur such a babe, @James i thought u were joey??

 

 **Sirius Black** : u guys look so much different outside of the broom closet light.

 

 **Sirius Black** : @Marlene dont start

 

-

 

 **prongs** changed their name to **lily evans’ boyfriend james potter**

 

 **padfoot** to **theres a definitive chance peter peed himself in the skeleton ride** : wow.gif

 

 **moony** to **theres a definitive chance peter peed himself in the skeleton ride** : cheers mate!!!!!! get in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **wormtail** to **theres a definitive chance peter peed himself in the skeleton ride** : yayyy

 

 **lily evans’ boyfriend james potter** to **theres a definitive chance peter peed himself in the skeleton ride** : :)))))))))

 

 **padfoot** to **theres a definitive chance peter peed himself in the skeleton ride** : i call dibs for best man

 

 **padfoot** changed the group name to **Sirius For Best Man 2k17.**

  
**moony** to **Sirius For Best Man 2k17:** here we go


End file.
